Eyes On You
by joellynann
Summary: Hawkeye shouldn't have fallen for a normal girl like me. How could we survive the end of the world? (Set before and during the Avengers movie) Clint/OC. Rated for language, violence, and future relationship encounters. *COMPLETE*
1. Chapter 1

****As always: I do not own any Marvel characters or the movie storyline.****

Chapter 1 – The Meeting

Aliens. I really fucking hate aliens. I barely knew Thor and thought of him as one too. If it wasn't for his stupid fucking brother with his stupid fucking plans to take over the stupid fucking world and kill all of the stupid fucking humans... well, then I would be at home, cuddling with my man while our roommates argued over what reality television show we watched. What I wouldn't give for one of those arguments right now.

Most people would say that our trouble started when Loki decided to take over the universe, but I knew it began long before that. I was in my mid-twenties and working a part time job as a coffee barista near my apartment in New York. This guy would come in every day at 4:20 pm and ask for large coffee, black. He wouldn't give his name, but he would go sit in one of the comfortable couches that we had along the wall and people watch for exactly 34 minutes before he would get up, thrown his cup away, and leave. He always walked in front of the store and would look at me right before the window ended. No matter where I was in the building, it was like he could always find me.

It took him 2 months to smile and even then, it was just a small thing… a quick upturn of his lip. I decided to take a chance and ask him his name. I watched his shields slam back into place. He couldn't have been much older than me, or maybe he was, but he was gorgeous. He couldn't have been more than 6 feet tall, but he was solid muscle, like he lifted heavy objects or something on a regular basis. His reddish-brown hair was cut short in a messy way and the stubble suited him. He was dark, very serious, and seemed almost dangerous. So sue me… I was a woman. He looked good enough to eat.

4 months to the day since he started ordering his coffee, he came up to my line as usual. We were fairly dead for a Tuesday afternoon with only a few patrons enjoying the protection from the rain. Most days like this, we had no one. He ordered his coffee but instead of leaning back against the wall while I poured it, he stood against the counter and unabashedly watched me.

"What's your name?"

I couldn't believe it! He actually said something new. Be still my heart! His voice was rough and sexy as hell. He could have looked at my name board on end of the counter but he was looking at me. He was trying to have a conversation. Who was I to say no?

"Jaya."

He raised his eyebrows. "Jaya?"

I had to laugh. "I know. My mother named me after a Buddhist goddess. Doesn't matter that I'm from just a small average Midwest town." I handed him his coffee and he turned to go. "Wait! What's your name? It's been months and you've never given it."

Instead of sitting down today, he headed for the door. I thought he was going to leave without answering me, and maybe he thought that too, but before he headed back into the rain, he turned back. "Clint."

I watched him as he walked down the sidewalk and like clockwork… he found me.

It took another two weeks before he would talk to me again. I thought I had scared him away because I hadn't seen him once since our minor conversation. It was a Thursday and it was later than usual when he came in. Our café closed at six o'clock and it was quarter of when the bell dinged above the door. I looked up and I wish my heart had not reacted the way it did to see him standing there. No man should look that good in a pair of nice jeans, boots, and a black leather jacket.

"Jaya."

Damn. What I wouldn't give to have a guy like him say my name like that on a regular basis. It was like a breath or a prayer.

"Hi Clint. Coffee? Black?"

I would have played nonchalant except that I promptly spilled the tray of cups that I was carrying as I tripped over the area rug in front of the counter. I probably would have ended up on the floor except two very strong arms ended up around me. He helped me stand back up and picked up the coffee mugs that were around us.

"I've never seen someone move that fast," I finally stammered. Anything to fill the silence.

He shrugged. "Are you okay?"

I nodded but I was shaking. He was too close, way too close. I could smell the rain on his skin, amid the cologne that he wore. It wasn't over-powering. No, that was just him in general. His hand was still on my arm and was the only thing I was completely aware of… until he kissed me.

If I had blinked, I would have missed it, but the spark was tangible. I felt lightening go through me. The shocked look on his face told me that he felt it too. He took a full step backwards but still did not let go of my arm.

"I shouldn't do this, but damn it, Jaya." It was like I wasn't there. He was mumbling to himself, something about keeping himself apart and connections were dangerous. I just continued to stare at him.

He finally realized that he was thinking out loud and gave me a real, honest to God smile. It made his eyes soften and the hard lines on his face fade. It made him look younger… more approachable. "Dinner. Tonight."

Maybe he had meant it to be a question or maybe he knew it didn't have to be. He touched my bottom lip with his thumb so softly and was out the door. My coworker, Amanda, chose that moment to come out of the backroom and see him walking out of sight. He didn't look back to catch my eye.

"Was that lover boy?" she asked, taking the tray off the counter where we had placed it. She was the only one who knew about my crush on the mystery man. "I told you so. No way would you scare him away, but he still looks dangerous."

"Clint."

She stopped what she was doing and leaned over the counter. "What?"

I kept staring out the window. "His name is Clint. We're having dinner tonight, I think."

"You think!" she squealed. "What do you mean, you think?"

I told her what had just happed. "I don't know if I imagined it or not."

She hugged me quickly. "You didn't imagine it, no way! I don't believe it. Girl, get out of here. I will finish closing up. You need to go get ready." She practically pushed me out the door, locking it behind me.

The two block walk cleared my head enough to wonder how I could possibly be going out to dinner with a man who didn't even know where I lived. Was I supposed to meet him back at the café? I should have been more bothered than I was but I was still reeling from the barely there kiss. I lived on the third floor of an old brownstone apartment building that my parents owned. It was the only way I could afford to live in New York City. I wrote an editorial column for an online newspaper during the day, so I had bribed my dad to give me the nicest of the apartments. Why shouldn't I? I was the only tenant who was home all day. I had a small balcony and a decent sized bathroom. My closet was filled with nice clothes, but what do you know? I had nothing to wear.

I finally settled on one of my favorite outfits. It was a suede brown skirt with a red and brown lace top. I had a killer pair of leather wedges that I had splurged on to go with the skirt with a cool leather flower detail. I finally pulled my damp hair into a messy bun, added a few crystal clips to keep the fly aways in place, and decided to keep my makeup looking clean and simple. My favorite pearl drop necklace silver diamond studs that were a college graduation present from my grandmother completed my look.

Almost on cue, my intercom rang. I hurried over to see who it was. "Hello?"

"Are you ready to go?"

It would have freaked me out that Clint knew where I lived if I hadn't been so excited to see him. "I will be right down."

I grabbed my purse and my red pashmina and raced downstairs to meet him.

Surprisingly, unlike most men in the city, Clint didn't have a cab waiting for us. Instead, he helped me into the passenger seat of a brand new, black Porsche 911 Carrera 4S. The leather seats were butter soft and heated. I sighed deeply.

"So what kind of job do you have that you can afford wheels like these?" I asked fifteen minutes later as he weaved in and out of traffic.

So much for not taking candy from strangers. If my mother could only see me now, riding in a hundred thousand dollar car being driven by a man I barely knew, but who knew exactly where I lived despite the unlisted number and address. Creepy much? Maybe but… damn that kiss.

"I work for the government."

Ok. So mob related activities was out, but hitman was still a possibility. "What branch of the government?"

He didn't answer me. This was like pulling teeth, finding out information about him. I decided to just let him drive and a comfortable silence settled around us. I wasn't sure how it happened but it felt like I had known him for years, not months. I felt like he could drive us off a cliff and that would be okay. There was a sense of anxiety with how fast he was going but triple digits could do that to a girl.

Seven o'clock passed and it was nearing eight before we finally pulled into a quaint semi-rural town. There was a small restaurant we made our way to, Italian by the looks of it. Ever the gentleman, Clint parked the car and then walked around to open my door. We were greeted at the door by a pleasant man who shook Clint's hand vigorously.

"Well I'll be damned, Barton! We haven't seen you around here in ages, especially not with a lady this beautiful!" He reached out and shook my hand too.

"Jaya, this is Vincent. He owns this place."

"Welcome, Jaya. Let me show the two of you to the best table in the house."

The best table proved to be a quiet corner lit by candlelight. I was surprised by how romantic it all was. Clint didn't strike me as a romantic, but I was known to be wrong. At least he hadn't taken me into to the woods to dispose of me. Clint ordered for the both of us, in Italian.

He must have noticed me staring. "I travel a lot for work," he explained with a shrug.

We waited for our food and I watched him watch me. He was hesistant as he reached over and stroked my cheek. "You know, there is something… captivating about you."

"You don't know anything about me," I replied, grabbing my glass of wine and taking a long drink. "And you barely answer any of my questions."

He settled back into his chair. "Ok, so ask me a question."

I thought about it for a moment. "Are you going to kill me?"

He laughed. It was a rich sound… and I liked it. "No. I'm not going to kill you. So let's try this… I'll ask a question and then you ask one. Okay?"

I nodded. By dessert, I had found out that he was born in Iowa, had a brother who he was estranged from, and both of his parents were dead. He had lived the standard kid's dream of running away to join the circus where they exploited his uncanny knack for archery. He told me that was how he got the nickname "Hawkeye". He worked for part of the government as a sharp shooter with his best friend, Natasha, who was very skilled with all manner of hand to hand combat.

"When you meet her, you will understand. She's Russian," he said, as if that explained it all. I merely shrugged.

I wish I could say he learned a lot about me, but there wasn't much for me to tell him. I was just average: average height and weight, average schooling at an average college, average parents decided to have two average kids. It was my life, even if my brother ended up not being so average.

"How did you know where I lived?" It finally occurred to me to ask that very important question.

I knew he didn't really want to answer that one. "I followed you home one night. I just wanted to make sure you got there safe."

"Just once?"

He shook his head. "Every night."

Ok. Weird in a stalker kind of way, but sweet. He was so sincere that I didn't doubt him. I was a very good judge of character. My brother had taught me that early on.

"So why me, Mr. Hawkeye?" I asked, somewhat teasingly.

He didn't take it as a joke and got very serious again. "I told you. You captivate me." I started to protest but he held his hand up. "You don't think of yourself as much, but I see more to you. You're beautiful, but you also come across as very strong. Like I could tell you anything and you wouldn't run away."

"What do you have to tell me?"

It was a test. I didn't want him to tell me yet. I wanted to fall in love with this man so hard that nothing he said to push me away would ever matter. He passed with flying colors.

"That is for later. C'mon." He tossed some money down on the table and finished his wine. "Let's go for a ride."

On the way back to the city, even though the car was a manual transmission, his hand found mine and refused to let go. He walked me to my front stoop where he shifted nervously, still holding my hand.

"Jaya, I'm out of my element here."

At least he was bluntly honest. I could handle that. He had already told me that he didn't like my skirt because it hung down to mid-calf and I should show off my legs. He also told me that the perfume I wore was too strong, but he liked how green my eyes looked in the candlelight. I felt like whatever he said he took to heart and meant it. I just gave him the time to collect his thoughts, but inside I was panicking. I didn't want this to be a one-time deal.

"I don't date. I have never had a serious relationship. I'm not even sure how this is all supposed to go…" He pulled me to him so suddenly that I lost my balance and literally fell into his arms. With one arm around my waist, he leaned in so his mouth was very close to my ear, his hand holding the back of my head. "All I do know is that I don't want to leave right now."

I could only imagine the tremor in my voice as I replied, "Then don't."

My lips were bruised before we made it into my apartment, but at least we didn't leave any clothes in the stairwell. Clint Barton was fire, and I was being consumed.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Bitten by a Spider

Of all things in this world to fear, spiders are at the top of my list. Shortly after Clint moved in with me, he discovered this fear first hand as an eight-legged freak joined me in the shower. I screamed, attempted to jump out of the tub, got caught in the shower curtain, and ended up a sniveling mess in the corner until Clint had recovered from laughing at my reaction. He calmly grabbed a tissue, squished the offending creature, and flushed him down the toilet.

"You need to react better to Natasha than that."

Ah yes. The infamous Black Widow. Clint had waited until I had gotten used to the idea that he worked for a secret government agency, S.H.I.E.L.D., whose sole purpose was to protect the world from things straight out of a science-fiction movie before he mentioned that his best friend and former lover was what nightmares were made of. I had yet to meet her, and I wasn't looking forward to it. If she didn't like me… well, I didn't want the last five weeks to have been all for nothing.

Yes, I admit that my now lover, maybe-boyfriend had made himself at home almost immediately. He was used to living in hotels and government safe houses so all he brought with him was a duffel bag of clothes that all looked exactly the same and one small moving box with his personal possessions. A framed photograph of his parents now resided on the mantle in the living room and his spare set of dog tags hung on the post of my bed closest to where I slept. His books had become intermingled with mine so it was fun to see what he liked to read. I never would have guessed that he was a closet Nicholas Sparks fan.

Five short weeks and I was already head over heels, humming the wedding march in my head, in love. If this ex-whatever of his ruined it for me, I would have to kill her. Not sure how, but I would find a way.

"I'll be fine, babe. It's not like she's going to throw me off the balcony if she doesn't like what I'm making for dinner, right?"

Apparently, my attempted humor didn't convince him that I wasn't nervous as all hell. This was the most important person in his life. Even meeting his boss, Nick Fury, didn't faze me even though he all but interrogated me and I know he did a full background check. He probably wanted to make sure that I would compromise one of his best, but my parents had made sure to hide their personal information on their business dealings which included the building we lived in.

I had a chicken with rosemary and thyme roasting in the oven, mashed potatoes in a casserole, and I had even made apple crisp as a surprise for Clint. I had uncovered some of his favorite foods in the last few weeks and I wanted to show off a little to Natasha.

I got myself back into the bedroom, and started pulling clothes off of their hangers. I had no idea what to wear. Clint was already in his jeans with a black t-shirt laid out on the dresser, but then again he would look good in anything… or nothing. I eyed the clock and realized I had no chance of dragging him back to bed if I expected to have dinner done in time.

I felt a shift in the energy around me as he wrapped his arms around my waist. His bare skin was heaven against mine. I leaned my head into his shoulder and drank in the essence of him.

"I need to tell you something, Jaya." I sighed. Here we go, I thought, but I refused to move. "It's nothing bad, I promise."

I nodded. Clint kept his promises, one of the many reasons I was okay with him living with me when he wasn't traipsing across the world as a defender of justice.

He lifted my chin so I was looking at him in the eye. "I love Natasha. She is the person I trust to have my back in a fight, but I don't care what her opinions are about you and me. Do you understand? She may have my back, but you have my heart."

Damn it! I would not cry but knowing he felt the same about me as I did about him just made me well up. Things like this weren't supposed to happen in real life. There was no such thing as love at first sight, happily-ever-afters, or gorgeous crime-fighting superheros. And yet, it seemed as if Clint was promising all three. He kissed me but thankfully didn't say the "L" word just yet.

Dinner was an awkward affair. Natasha was beautiful and exotic. They retold obviously old war stories and attempted to include me, but I excused myself to do dishes. He was having a good time, I reasoned. I had no reason to be jealous… except for the fact that at some point, she had been the woman in his eyes.

"You know, you don't have to hate me." The towel was taken out of my hand. "You wash. I'll dry."

I sighed and plunged my hands back into the soapy water. "I don't hate you, Natasha. "

"But you don't like me either. Clint is my best friend. He's happy. That's all that I care about."

We didn't talk for a while but during a particularly difficult of dried gunk on a pan, I did blurt out, "I do hate that you're so damn gorgeous!"

She laughed. "Sweetheart, Clint and I were over long before we started. It was a one-time thing and the director made it perfectly clear that we could no longer be partners if the relationship continued. I have no romantic interest in him anymore." She put her hand on my shoulder. "But let me make one thing perfectly clear – if you hurt him, there will be no end to the pain I will cause you."

I tried not to, but the shudder that went through me was physically visible. "I'm not going to hurt him… I…"

"You love him." Natasha was very perceptive. "And he cares for you. I only hope that he doesn't let his thick head get in the way."

With that, she changed the subject. She wanted to know about the building and how we acquired it.

"My grandparents lived here after they both immigrated. My grandfather was Lithuanian and my grandmother was Italian. Once my dad was born, they moved to somewhere in Illinois where he met my mother. The property came back on the market about 10 years ago and my dad insisted on buying it. He did a complete renovation as you can see. My brother lives on the floor below us when he's around and the first floor is currently vacant. We had a sweet old lady living there, Mrs. Anderson, but her kids forced her to move into a home."

"I like this property because the building has a small communal back yard, so when I graduated college I decided to become a 'big city girl' and enjoy the hustle and bustle for a while."

She was quiet. "Well, I'm moving in."

I guess Clint heard her because he came tearing into the kitchen. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

She shrugged. "I said I was moving in. I need a place for Irena to live while I'm away on missions so she isn't living alone."

I was in shock, but managed to blurt out, "Who's Irena?"

"My cousin. She's the only living family that I have left and I hate that she's by herself all the time. She doesn't like most people and is a definite loaner so she really wouldn't bother you at all. And it would give me somewhere to crash between missions. Speaking of missions, when are you going to get back in the game, Clint?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play coy with me. Fury is furious that you turned down the last two missions for 'personal reasons'. You keep that up and he's going to kick you off the team and then I'm going to kick your ass. I don't want to be training a new partner!"

I stared at both of them and felt my anger start to boil. Somebody was keeping something from me and that just didn't fly. "Mr. Barton… balcony… now!"

I stormed outside not bothering to see if he followed. I may be a normally calm person, but not when I wasn't being given the whole truth. I heard the door open and didn't wait until he closed it.

"You swore you wouldn't lie to me! Keeping the fact that you weren't working from me is a lie!"

"Calm down, Jaya."

I whirled around to face him. "Don't ever tell me to calm down." I did, however, take a deep breath. "Why aren't you working? And do not lie to me."

I could see the tension in his shoulders. "It's only going to make you mad."

"I don't care. Tell me anyway."

He dropped into one of the chairs I had lugged up three flights of stairs when I moved in. To get rid of them, I was seriously considering just tossing them over the side of the balcony onto the street below.

"I told you my parents died when I was young. I spent years inside of an orphanage. My brother and I are no longer on speaking terms. He could be dead for all I know or care. The only person in my life that I ever really gave a damn about was Natasha and the Black Widow can definitely take care of herself." He reached out and pulled me into his lap. "But now there's you… and I'm scared to death of something happening if I'm not here to keep my eyes on you."

I snuggled into him. "I'm 29, babe. I've been living on my own for since college. I hated having roommates so I had my own place off campus. I know how to be safe."

"It's not just that." He pause made me wonder what was going through his mind. "I'm … an assassin for our government. They don't really like us to have real relationships because…"

"Because if someone wanted to hurt you… they could use me against you," I finished. I hadn't thought of that. "Okay. So let's figure out how we can make it so that you can do your job and not worry about me all the time, okay?"

It took some parental convincing and a very large check from Nick Fury's personal desk, but S.H.I.E.L.D. became the proud owner of a gorgeous, historic brownstone in New York City.


	3. Chapter 3

****So this is where the "M" rating comes in. A big shout out to my friends KP and Yenny for all of the help as support. Please enjoy and as always, I unfortunately do not own the characters.****

Chapter 3 – The Sun Burns Hot in New Mexico

Clint was leaving. Not permanently, but for an undetermined amount of time. Apparently, some form of space debris had fallen out of the sky and Fury had decided that my man had had enough time off. His eyes were needed, but his heart wasn't in it.

"You have my cell phone number. Call me for anything."

I handed him his extra jacket. "I'll be fine. I'm not going to call you at work. I have a direct line to Phil Coulson if I need to get ahold of you. I have Irena to keep me company and Steve is living on the first floor. Do you really thing Captain freaking America would let anything that manage to get inside this place hurt me? I don't think so."

I knelt on the bed in front of him and place both of my hands on his face. I leaned in and kissed him deeply. "You need to focus and be safe, lover mine. Make sure that you come home to me safely."

He hugged me tightly for many minutes and then grabbed his spare bow that he had locked up in the safe in our closet. I stayed where I was until I heard not only the door close, but the car waiting for him on the street drive away.

Our closet. Our home... it had become 'our' everything. Most importantly, it had become our love. He had whispered it to me last night when he thought I was sleeping. We had spent hours cuddling, making love, enjoying our last night together. Around 4 am, I had spooned up next to him, my arm and leg draped over him, my face nuzzled into his back.

I had almost dozed off when he whispered, "I love you, Jaya." I was shocked, but secretly thrilled. 2 months and he loved me. What an amazing gift.

The things that can happen in 2 months. S.H.I.E.L.D. had completely retrofitted my building with steel reinforcements, bullet-proof glass for windows, and an elevator. I wasn't thrilled but it meant that Clint could leave me. Okay, that was the part that I was the least thrilled about, but I couldn't tell him that. He needed to work and Natasha had promised me that she would keep him safe.

My intercom buzzed so I checked our new surveillance system and saw a Fed-Ex delivery man on the front step. Before I could even respond in any way, my brand-new roommate was there to sign for the package. I poured him a cup of Coke and had it waiting for Steve when he walked through the door.

"Thanks," he said, taking a long drink.

Captain America was such a big thing: the man who was recovered and could now save the world again. I didn't see the big deal. He was just Steve: my neighbor and friend.

"Here." He handed me my box.

It was small. I opened it to find a ceramic pendant with a soaring hawk carved into it, strung on a black leather cord. It made my insides go to mush. He found a way to be with me always. I smiled.

"Are you two planning on getting married? Not that it's any of my business."

Well, Steve was old fashioned. He opened doors, said 'yes ma'am, no sir', and tended to be silent unless he had something important to say. He was a doer, not a big talker. He had that in common with Clint. The two of them would pull out the chess board or a game of Scrabble on Sunday afternoons and go for hours.

I never knew if Steve approved of me living in sin with Clint, but it seemed the answer was that he didn't really care either way. Lord knows I would like to consider being a Mrs. Barton, but I didn't know if it was something he would want. I mean, c'mon. He had just said the "L" word. I didn't want to spring the "M" word on him anytime soon.

"Want dinner, Steve?" I asked, changing the subject. "I'm making Irena salmon kulebiaka."

He did a double take. "Isn't that rice pilaf stuffed with fish inside of a pastry dough?"

"Dude, you are spending way too much time with Food Network."

He looked confused. "What's that?"

I mentally smacked my head into a brick wall. "Nevermind. Remind me to hook up your cable box tonight." I turned the oven on and began pulling ingredients out for a chocolate mousse cake.

Making food for one person was depressing. I had done it for years so now I made it a point to make enough for the other people in the building. It was making us more like a family than random strangers. Irena and I even went shopping the other day for a new reading lamp and sheets for her apartment. It was a nice bonding moment, debating the worthiness of spending the extra money on Egyptian cotton versus buying the cheaper on sale set.

During dinner, a massive thunderstorm broke and we lost power. The backup generator got the important appliances back online, but we said our goodbyes early and I fell into bed, already missing my Hawk.

Days passed by in an ignorable repetition. I spent the mornings writing, but I no longer went to the café. I used to use it as a way to pass time, but I had found that I would rather be Suzy Homemaker in the afternoons. I taught myself how to crochet and made a Granny Square blanket for the back of the couch, perfect for snowstorm cuddling once Clint got home. I repainted the office a shade of gray to promote a tranquil writing environment. I found that it just reminded me of prison so I promptly repainted it a yellow, a shade pale enough to remind me of lemon drop martinis… and Bond. James Bond. I couldn't help but chuckle out loud as the irony was not lost on me.

Time to take a break and call my man.

He answered on the first ring. "I miss you."

I laughed. "I miss you too. How's New Mexico?"

We could actually talk without code because I had insisted that Phil Coulson install a secure line in my apartment. I think Director Fury may have had some idea of the seriousness of my relationship with his archer as he had actually given me some sort of security clearance. I'm sure that Irena had no idea where Natasha was. I think she was back somewhere in the Ukraine or somewhere equally remote. She was rarely home. Luckily, I knew how to keep my mouth shut. I wasn't a gossip columnist. I wrote book reviews for a living.

He gave me the short version of what was going on. He apparently had quite the adventure with a would-be god attempting to retrieve what ended up being a mythological hammer. Talk about crazy, but at least Phil Coulson was keeping everyone amused with his dry humor. Apparently, Thor had returned to his realm and Clint was packing up.

"Or maybe I can convince you to fly out here for a few days? Coulson said he would send a plane for you if you could be ready to go in an hour."

To be warm and away from this rainy, autumn weather? Hell yeah! I was packed long before the car arrived to take me to the airport. I had taken time to flat iron my hair. It hung past my shoulders like a long, brown curtain. Since I normally allowed its natural curl to play out, I thought the surprise would be nice. I was wearing my hawk necklace with a simple halter-top blue sundress.

When the plane touched down in the southwest heat, I was sweating before I even reached baggage claim. I should have cared but, but seeing Clint waiting for me, leaning up against the wall… nothing else mattered but throwing myself into his arms. It had only been eight days, but it felt like a lifetime since I had kissed him.

We must have been making quite the scene considering the number of catcalls we were getting. I blushed and pulled away from him, but didn't let go of his hand. "So where are we going?"

He picked up my carry on and slung it over my suitcase. I mean, what girl packs lightly? "It's a surprise."

No shocker there, but I had to admit, the hotel was an oasis. Thank God… or Asgardian gods as the case may be, that I had enough common sense to pack a bathing suit. Clint though had other ideas.

We barely made to the elevator, its doors still open when I was pressed up against the wall, the full weight of Clint's body holding me in place. One hand was fisted in my hair while the other successfully untied my halter. My face was buried in his neck so I made the best of it: I nipped, licked, and sucked until he shuddered against me. Our floor came with a ding and without hesitation, Clint swept me up into his arm and walked briskly to some unknown room. I have no idea how he opened the door without dropping me. His mouth on my neck made me not give a damn.

He finally put me down, but only to pull his t-shirt over his head. He yanked my dress down to my waist and my strapless bra disappeared. He came to me more gently, pressing our skin together in a blissful ecstasy. Who knew just bare skin touching could be so erotic? I had had a few boyfriends over the years with a lot of unknowledgeable fumbling around, but with Clint it was smooth. It was unhindered. It was pure passion. With Clint… it was like coming home after never even realizing that you had been lost.

He backed me up to the bed and laid me down. It was amazing having someone else in control, someone else taking the lead. There were many nights when I could do what I wanted, but on the nights that mattered, Clint was all man. He stood and gazed down on me, a dark hunger in his eyes. I wrapped my legs around his waist and dragged him down to meet my lips. The friction of his jeans rubbed against me through the thin material of my dress. Fuck, it felt good.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was congratulating myself on remembering to shave my legs before I left my apartment. In the forefront, I was lost in the amazing things that he could do with his fingers. He trailed just the tips down my neck and between my breasts to splay his hand across my stomach. I was not a super skinny girl, but he kept reminding me that he like a real woman with curves. Apparently, he didn't mind the last few pounds of pudge that the crunches couldn't remove.

My dress had become a belt and my panties were a barely-there bit of lace. With one quick tear, they were trash. $20 in the trashcan, but I was sure I could take it out of him in trade. I moaned when he finally touched me, sliding two fingers inside of me, stroking me slowly.

I was never an easy girl, but with all of my male encounters I had never found the experience that great. I just couldn't get off during normal sex. Clint had spent the last few months perfecting his foreplay to leave me either just on the brink of an orgasm or just coming down from one before he let the animal inside him take over. By then it didn't matter. I could cum again and again, only for him.

This time, it was different. Maybe because it was the first time we had been apart since we began seeing each other, or maybe something had happened in the desert, but my body needed him now. I needed him and his fingers weren't enough.

"Clint." My words were a breath but my nails dug into his shoulders. He got the point.

He lifted me up so he was standing and holding me. So gracefully, he turned and dropped to the bed. I didn't even have time to process the change in position. I leaned down, kissing his skin from ear to neck to chest. His hands only left me to unbutton his pants and somehow remove his boxers. Now, understand I have very little experience in the bedroom department but I let him guide me. As I straddled him, he help my hips and guided me down on top of him.

What a feeling of fulfillment! Clint was not a small man. I could barely wrap my hand around his thickness, so to have all of that stretching me with barely any teasing should have hurt. It did in a way, but it was the kind of pain that I secretly desired. Don't tell my mom, but I was and maybe had always been a closet sex freak. I liked Clint taking charge. I like being put in the positions he wanted. I craved him holding onto me almost to the point of bruising… sometimes beyond. This was different.

I was in charge, sliding up and down his shaft at my pace. I love it hard and slow so that's exactly what he got. He kept one hand on my hips, digging in. The other he used to cup my breast, pinching and twisting my nipple until I cried out. I was so close. Too close. And then it hit me.

The most powerful orgasm I had ever had and I had controlled it. Clint was moaning and came moments later. He pulled me down to him, both of us shaking. What had just happened? I mean, this wasn't just good sex. Something was changing between us… something good.

"Are you okay?" he asked, wrapping himself around me and then a blanket around both us. I hadn't even realized how cool the room was. That was my man. He knew I preferred my bedroom cold; otherwise I couldn't sleep.

I nodded sleepily. I didn't want to break this perfect feeling by talking.

The jet lag must have caught up with me. I don't remember actually getting under the covers or missing breakfast the next morning. The sunlight was pouring into the room when I finally opened my eyes. I rolled over to find the other half of the bed empty. No big deal. There was a note on my pillow saying he was going to work out and then hit the pool. Judging by the time, I slipped into my bikini and headed for the elevator.

There were quite a few people already in the water by the time I had grabbed a towel and a glass of orange juice from the pool counter. I could see Clint's strong muscles slicing through the water as he did his laps. I found two lounge chairs that were partially in the shade and laid down on my stomach.

I felt water dripping on my back and I smiled. "Enjoy your swim?"

He kissed the top of my head. "You forgot sunscreen, didn't you?"

I touched my back and groaned. So much for my mini-vacation. Sunburn like that was going to hurt.


	4. Chapter 4

****So there are 2 chapters being uploaded today. Please enjoy and review if you have a moment! Much love.****

Chapter 4 – Three Little Words

It's funny how three words can alter your life and change your destiny. Funny or heartbreaking and a lot of the time, it's both. How great is it when a warm fuzzy feeling is left over, such as 'I love you'? In my case, it was extreme nausea and a feel of dread in the pit of my stomach. No, I didn't hear 'you are pregnant'. It was worse… much worse.

I was sitting on the couch watching a movie with Irena. It was an old Katherine Hepburn movie, but I wasn't sure which one. I had just gotten up to get some more popcorn when the house phone rang. I glanced at Irena. She knew as well as I did that our phone never rang.

"Hello?" I answered cautiously.

"Ms. Wilson."

A sigh of relief went through me. "Hi Phil!" I could never get used to calling him Agent. He was just too awesome for that. I had even given him a giant box of crazy ties for Christmas. Director Fury didn't like them, but they made Phil laugh out loud.

"Ms. Wilson, I need you and Ms. Yablokov to please pack an overnight bag and be out front in ten minutes."

That caught my attention. Natasha was overseas on a mission and Clint was back in the desert at S.H.I.E.L.D.'s home base. He had been there since before Saint Patrick's Day. He came home occasionally for a weekend but gone were our long days of doing nothing. Even when he was home, he was on edge and couldn't tell me why.

"Phil, what's going on?"

I could hear the tension in his voice. "Jaya… please just go pack."

It was highly unusual to have Coulson calling anyone by their first name, especially the girlfriend of one of his agents. He was their keeper, not their friend.

"Okay Phil," I agreed and he hung up on me. Something was very wrong.

I sent Irena downstairs to get some stuff together while I raced into my bedroom. To be safe, I grabbed multiple pairs of sweatpants and a bunch of Clint's t-shirts. They fit me comfortably and could double as loungewear and sleepwear. I had two maxi dresses that could survive any trip in a duffle bag and a pair of flat sandals went in too. I grabbed some toiletries from the bathroom, and headed to the bookshelf. Coulson had said 'overnight' but being with Clint had made me realize that 'overnight' could equal many days depending on the level of the threat. Therefore I wanted to make sure I packed enough to read. I pulled out a new non-fiction author that I needed to review, a few random light fluffy romances, and Clint's favorite book in our entire collection: Love Letters of Great Men – Volume 1. He had picked up a copy and gave it to me as a present after I mentioned learning about it from a movie I had watched. He loved to lie in bed at night and read to me from it. It was worn and marked, with bent pages and bookmarks sticking out from our favorite passages. It went into my bag on top where I could grab it easily.

We made it outside where the air was brisk for May. I was glad I had thought to bring a sweatshirt with me because wearing my jeans just wasn't cutting it. The ride was not as long as I had expected it to be. We didn't end up at LaGuardia airport. Instead, Irena and I found ourselves looking up at Stark Tower.

Our questions went unanswered at we were ushered to the thirty-second floor. Man, Tony didn't skimp on anything. We entered a lavish apartment, bigger than I wanted to think about. Luxury furniture, state of the art electronics, and the air smelled faintly of chocolate, like cookies had just been baked. I followed my nose and I was right! A plate full of yummy goodness.

"Ladies, there are guards outside in the hallway. If you need anything, I am here to serve."

Thankfully I had been warned about Jarvis, the artificial intelligence that kept everything Stark did under control. Irena let out a loud curse in her native language. I had to laugh. Everything sounded cooler in Russian.

"What is that?"

"That's the house. Hi Jarvis."

She was obviously confused. "House? The house talks?"

"Yeah… you'll get used to him."

He welcomed us to the tower and assured us someone would be right with us for a debriefing. Unfortunately, minutes became hours and I was not a patient woman when I was freaked out.

"Jarvis!"

"Miss, can you please refrain from yelling? I can hear you just fine."

"Get Agent Phil Coulson on the phone… NOW!" Apparently, I either had some pull around here or the hysteria I was feeling was starting to show. I was betting the latter. Regardless, the intercom went off almost immediately. "Phil, you better tell me what the fuck is going on."

He cleared his throat. "I don't have clearance to tell you that at the moment. What I can tell you is – "

"I don't give a good god-damn about your clearance!" Yes, I'll admit cutting him off wasn't nice, but I was in no mood to be toyed with.

There was a rustling on his end of the line and a more authoritative voice took over. "Ms. Wilson, I understand that you may be dating one of my agents and you have certain leniencies that have been granted to you; however, I will not tolerate the verbal abuse. You are not cleared for this information."

"Director, we were forced out of our home, taken for some unknown reason to a building on the other side of the city for what? To sit here and twiddle our thumbs?"

I could only imagine the look of distaste on his face. It was no secret that Nick Fury didn't like me. Clint had gotten shit for our relationship and for wanting to be able to talk to me about his job. I don't know what he threatened, but ever since that little conversation, the director was like vinegar tome.

"You will stay put and not cause me any trouble. Those are your orders." With that, he disconnected.

There was no limit to the hatred that I was feeling. How dare he attempt to use his authority to make me do something! I got as far as the hallway elevator before I was none too gently escorted back inside. At least the guards had apologized. They couldn't go against orders. Inside, the windows wouldn't open and Irena kept complaining that there wasn't anything on television. I had no idea what she used to do for a living but her shopping habits alluded to a lot of concealed wealth.

It was late and I was hungry so I started rummaging around in the kitchen. "Want some help?"

It was my turn to shriek in surprise. "Who the hell are you?"

The woman in front of me was dressed in a nice suit with her hair in a trendy ponytail. "I'm Pepper Potts."

Of course she way. I had no idea how I didn't recognize her from the photos that covered everything about the playboy's life. I was glad that he had finally picked one woman. She seemed nice.

I shook her outstretched hand. "It's very nice to meet you."

She held up a paper bag. "I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty to order you Chinese. I wasn't sure what you and Irena liked so I got a little bit of everything."

"Thanks. Did you want some?" I asked, hunting down a couple of plates.

"No thank you," she replied, watching me spoon broccoli and beef onto a large pile of rice. "I did, however, also take the liberty of bringing you something you deserved."

I heard him clear his throat before I saw him. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, Phil."

He shrugged. "It's fine." He appeared to be abnormally uncomfortable. "I…"

I studied his face. "What is it?"

"The director isn't going to like this, but I made a promise to Agent Barton…"

I waited, but he didn't say more. "What promise?"

He took a deep breath. "Jaya… Clint's been compromised."

Three little words and my world went black.

I awoke unknown hours later with a cool washcloth on my forehead. What a bad dream. I must have eaten some really bad Chinese food. I stood up, pulled my hair back and headed into the adjoining bathroom. A hot shower was all that I needed. I stood under the hot spray long enough to prune my skin before wrapping up in a towel. My stomach growled and I went in search of sustenance.

The big screen was on some late night talk show with some comedian I didn't care about, but Irena jumped up from the couch and threw her arms around me. She wasn't one for physical emotion, so I knew my bad dream was, in fact, my new reality.


	5. Chapter 5

****Ok, not happy with such a short chapter but I needed to get the story moving forward. Big shout out to Darth for dealing with me while I was writing. 3****

Chapter 5 – Solitary Confinement

Nobody from S.H.I.E.L.D. would tell us anything. It was like we were on our own. The building was mostly empty with the exception of our guards and minimal staff, but I headed into the kitchen. Cooking was what I did best when I was stressed.

By lunchtime, I had two fruit pies prepped and a butter cake in the oven. I had tortillas warming on the stove and a big bowlful of chicken fajitas with peppers and onions on the table. I had Jarvis invite anyone in the building to come and help themselves. I didn't greet our guests. I left that to the Russian. I kept going.

Dinner was mozzarella stuffed meatballs in brown gravy with homemade egg noodles. I had potpies and turnovers in the freezer for future meals. Irena had claimed the guacamole while I helped myself to a loaf of bread. I sliced it thin, toasted it with a drizzle of extra virgin olive oil with fresh cracked sea salt, and topped it with the bruschetta that I had been marinating all day. There were brownies and cupcakes I had made with my mother's award winning lemon curd filling and cream cheese frosting. It was all delicious but I didn't even care. I ate my bread and a handful of grapes.

I was going to go stir crazy.

Cooking wasn't working and the television was all about breaking news reports from some attack in Germany. The books I had brought were too happy for my mood. I had to figure out a way to calm down.

"This place has to have a gym or something. Let's ask. Jarvis?"

The next morning, Irena had apparently gotten over the idea of Big Brother watching. He directed us to go up a few floors where we would find the gym and a pool. We asked nicely to go on a field trip so Bill and Matt wouldn't say no. I didn't care how she had gotten on a first name basis with our babysitters, but it got us out of our confinement.

I couldn't help but be impressed by the equipment that Stark had brought in for his gym. 4 treadmills, recumbent bikes, stationary bikes, elliptical machines, free weights, and what appeared to be two full sets of strength training equipment. There were yoga mats, medicine balls, and resistance bands in one corner. I wanted to be impressed but I was too number.

The locker room was as likewise stocked. There was a mall in the ladies area, with every size of work out gear and shoes, all brand new. I helped myself to a pair of basketball shorts and size nine running sneaker. I wasn't normally one to run. I enjoyed a good outdoor hike much more, but I would take what I could get. Irena was already floating in the water, sporting the best birthday suit nature could provide. Even if it wasn't, she would flaunt it anyway. Russians were weird like that, or maybe that was just her. Regardless, she was way more into nudity that I would ever be. Thankfully, the treadmills faced the windows, giving me an unobstructed view of the city.

As I reached my stride, I allowed my thoughts to wander. Every kiss… every touch… I couldn't turn my mind off of Clint. My Hawk was somewhere, probably in pain or more likely… no, I couldn't think about that. I increased my pace, trying to outrun my fear.

_I love you._

I could hear his voice. I could smell him, taste him… hell, it was like I could feel his arms around me.

_You have my heart._

Faster, Jaya. I had to run faster. How far could I push myself?

_My eyes are always on you._

I couldn't feel my body. I didn't notice my feet hitting the belt. I was running blind from the sweat dripping into my eyes.

_Jaya…_

The pain hit me square in the chest and I screamed my anger. I hopped onto the sideboards and slammed both fists into the treadmill screen. I did hear the plastic crack and the blood wasn't in my head.

"Oh honey."

Irena reached over and hit the stop button. She helped me step down and walked me to the bathroom. The guards were standing near us, guns drawn. I had probably scared the shit out of them, but the monster that was my imagination was taking over my brain.

"What are they doing to him? Is he alive? What if he's hurt or scared or trying to be strong? Oh God, 'Rena!"

I barely made it to the toilet in time. She pulled my hair away from my face and rubbed my back in soothing circles.

"It's alright, darling. He'll come home."

I tried to focus on her instead of the nasty voice in my head telling me that he was dead. I had to stop imagining all of the horrible things that might be happening.

"Your Hawk will always come back to you."

I tried to breathe but the sobbing had started. I was on the tile floor with my head in Irena's lap. Thank God she had wrapped herself up in a towel. She held me while one of the men picked small shards of plastic out of my skin before cleansing and wrapping the wounds. They said something about needing a doctor's opinion to avoid infection. I had no will to care.

Sometime later, I found myself back in bed. People came in and out of the room. I ignored them all. Someone made me soup. It tasted like sawdust. The lights were too bright. I left them on and chose instead to burrow under the blankets. A physician at some point came to visit. I sat like a child while he changed my bandages. He gave me a pill to swallow and everything went dark again.

Being shaken awake was one of those things that I had hated since childhood. I usually ended up being cranky the rest of the day. I tried not to yell at whoever had dared to piss me off.

"What!?" It was Irena and she was shoving a cell phone into my hand. "Who is this?"

"Jaya, its Natasha."

Instantly, I was wide awake. On major missions, agents were forbidden from making personal calls.

"Are you there?" I made some noise, but my heart was in my throat. "He's alive, honey. Clint is back with S.H.I.E.L.D." Before I could even manage to process that important bit of information. "I can't stay on the phone. I shouldn't even be calling… but you needed to know." Her voice cracked. "We got Clint back, but Agent Coulson has been killed."


	6. Chapter 6

**As always, Marvel is not mine.**

Chapter 6 – Eyes Wide Open

Shell-shocked was an accurate term. I was living proof. Having heard that my lover was alive but that my friend was dead had made me devoid of emotions. I was happy, but already grieving. I was a walking contradiction.

I sat with Irena on the over-sized couch, each of us wrapped in our own blanket, watching the news channel. Normally, I didn't care one bit but the world around us was losing the battle with chaos.

"Ladies, I am requesting that you stay in the living room and away from the windows."

I looked up from the replays of what seemed to be alien attacks from across the city. "Jarvis, what's going on?"

"It appears that the source of hostility is centered above us, with the device keeping the portal open is located on one of this tower's upper floors. Mr. Stark is on his way here to attempt to deal with the problem."

I reached out my hand and found Irena's waiting. I got up at one point and looked into the hallway to find it empty. Our guards had abandoned us. The world really was coming to an end. We could only sit and wait for it to happen. We could even feel the tower shaking.

"Was that an earthquake?" Irena screamed.

"No ma'am," Jarvis replied. "That would be a Hulk."

We could hear the fighting happening in the city around us. Aliens on flying vehicles of some kind whizzed by the windows. I was scared.

"What would you regret most if we die today?" I asked suddenly.

She thought about my question for a moment. "Probably not fighting to stay with the company. I was a ballerina," she explained. "I used to love being in the lights. I was the understudy for Odette, the Swan Queen, when I was sixteen and missed my chance to star. That was the year Natasha brought me to America to keep an eye on me."

We were silent for a bit until she asked me the same question. I didn't have to think about my answer. "I should have told Clint that I loved him. He said it the night he left, before all of this chaos started. I should have told him every day." I took a deep breath and hugged a pillow to my chest.

What felt like hours later, but might have been only a few minutes, we were blinded by a flash of bright light and a sonic boom. Freaked out, I raced into the kitchen and grabbed would-be weapons. I handed Irena the butcher knife and kept the cast iron frying pan to myself. So sue me: I had seen the movie Tangled more than a few times. Every girl should have a frying pan.

I heard the elevator before my companion. Not knowing what was going on outside, we each took a side of the doorway, intent on protecting ourselves. I put my finger to my mouth, indicating that I would deal with whatever was about to happen. I heard voices and settled myself into a fighter's crouch. Thank you to the few years of judo I had taken in middle school. The door opened… WHAM!

"Ow! Jaya!"

I knew that voice. I dropped the pan. "Steve?"

Captain America stood there, clutching the side of his head while Tony Stark laughed his ass off. I put my hand on my hip. "Seriously? You laugh at him when you are dressed up like the matchbox cars that my brother used to set on fire?"

The man shrugged and headed into the apartment, no doubt in search of a rocks glass full of bourbon. I got Steve a bag of ice for his head, watching a stunned Russian get a hug from her bleeding cousin. There were others there, but not the one I was looking for.

"He's upstairs."

I looked at Tony. "Who is?"

"Legolas. He refused to come inside."

He may have been teasing, but I didn't stop to figure that out. I was running out the door and up the stairs. Apparently, a Hulk tends to be over the weight limit and he was stuck at the bottom.

I found him on what had become the roof. Originally the terrace, something had destroyed the upper tower. He was leaning against the railing, dirty and bloody.

I got within a few feet of him without him noticing. "Clint?"

He heard me over the wind. He turned to look at me, his eyes searching mine. I closed the distance and wrapped my arms around his waist, breathing him in. He was alive and he was holding me so tight.

"You should leave," he whispered. "I'm damned."

I shook my head. "Don't care. You're mine. I'm yours." I let him tilt my face for a kiss. I nearly choked on my sob. He was here. He was alive. "I love you."

No other words were necessary.

The Avengers, as they were calling themselves, ended up leaving for some post-op meeting with Fury. I was okay with that because I knew they were coming back. Pepper had finally showed up and hit Tony for scaring her. Now, she was helping Irena and I get space cleared for everyone to crash. Everyone except Thor. He had the pleasure of transporting his asshole of a brother back to whatever planet they came from. I didn't envy that family reunion.

I was keeping my bedroom and Clint didn't have a choice of where he was sleeping. Irena set up an air mattress up in her room for Natasha while Pepper was checking the floor above us to make sure it wasn't damaged for her and Tony. Bruce and Steve could sleep in our living room.

The nightmare that came that night was enough to wake most of our roommates up, but thankfully they left me to deal with Clint. Natasha had given me the details of his brainwashing and eventual capture, including her knocking him unconscious, so I knew that he was coming home with baggage. Baggage yes, but the wild look he had made me wonder how bad things had really been.

"Oh God, Jaya. What did I do?"

I held him while he cried. I am not so old fashioned that I thought men shouldn't cry, but it still freaked me out when he started to shake. I let him work through it, refusing to move even when he tried to push me away. I was determined to show him that I wasn't going anywhere.

He started telling me about the people he had killed, the horrible things he had done. I kept repeating that it wasn't his fault and that he shouldn't blame himself. I didn't know if he heard me. He eventually fell back into a dreamless sleep. I, on the other hand, stayed up until dawn, just watching him.

Life returned to as much normalcy as it could. Most of the team went their separate ways. Those of us who didn't put our time and energy into rebuilding Stark Tower. Pepper was the brilliant one who decided to honor our team with calling it Avengers Tower. With Jarvis and Tony's never ending supply of machines, we had a new place to call home within a month.

Missions started up again, but the Hawk wouldn't go. Other agents didn't want him to have their back in battle anymore. Natasha was paired with Steve while Clint "sorted his shit out". I was content to have him with me, even if the night terrors continued to rob me of my sleep but he wasn't going to avoid things forever.

The holidays were approaching again. I felt more and more like the team was becoming a family. There was talk of Thor's woman Jane and her assistant Darcy joining them at S.H.E.I.L.D., but I refused to give up my office at the tower. I liked my privacy and Tony had finally stopped making fun of me when I ran on the treadmill. I guess he found the broken one in the dumpster.

I was hanging lights across the terrace railing and inside. Ladders weren't usually my friends, but I wanted to surprise everyone for dinner. I was just out of reach for the center of the doorway to hang the mistletoe when it happened. I was reaching and then there was nothing. I thought for sure I was going to break my neck but Clint cushioned my fall.

"Are you okay?"

I checked to make sure I hadn't smushed him. "I'm fine. Eyes wide open. Where did you come from?"

He shrugged. "I always have my eyes on you. I almost lost you once." He kissed me quickly before helping me up. "I'm not going to let it happen again."

That night he slept soundly with me curled up into him, my hand on his chest. It was the first night that I actually let my guard down and enjoyed just sleeping with my love. I woke up to sunlight streaming through the room. I rubbed my eyes and felt an unfamiliar weight on my hand. I looked down and gasped. Diamonds just shouldn't sparkle that much! I looked up at him grinning sheepishly at me. He didn't have to ask. I just nodded and the grin that spread across his face was filled with love, and more than a bit wicked. Breakfast was just going to have to wait.

The End… for now

Well, a big thank you to everyone who read and enjoyed this story! Please stay tuned for the next installment which will feature Natasha and Steve. Much love! 3


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